Discorded Ponies Celestia Not Loved

Discorded Celestia

Not Loved

Loose Canon

WARNING! Spoilers for Origins!

I am Princess Celestia Amaterasu Solaris Equestria, but please, simply call me Celestia. I have lived for a very, very long time…so long I can remember this world, this iteration, when it was young. You think it is pleasant to be immortal? It is far from it, but it is a cross I and my sister bear. I have made mistakes: not realizing my sister was succumbing to darkness until it was too late was one that I shall never stop regretting, even now that she is with me once again, and that is only one. Only My Parents are perfect after all…But one thing I do not regret is taking on my faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. She is one of the few beings in this world besides my sister and niece who I can be certain truly care about me. Did I know she was an Element Of Harmony before I accepted her? I may have had a hunch, but I didn't take a personal student simply to find the Element of Magic. After 1000 years with Philomena as my only company true company, and being forced to send my niece abroad for her own protection, I wished to have something none of the nobles or even many of my subjects will allow themselves to be, a true friend. And Twilight has proven to be just that for me, for that, I am eternally grateful.

Discord… There's a name that, if I had not heard it again until the end of this universe, it would be too soon. He… He stole them… He stole the Elements of Harmony right from under my muzzle and I could do nothing to stop him. And now he's taunting us, I and Twilight and her friends. I shut him up quickly, I cannot allow him to get in my head. Twilight solved his riddle quickly, I knight her and her friends, and they're off to the labyrinth. I shall hurry to help as soon as I awaken Luna, maybe both of us together can do something to stall Discord while they find the Elements…

I rush towards Luna's chamber… What? Why isn't the door opening?

"Now now Celestia, let the poor dear sleep, it isn't nearly nighttime yet."

I feel his grubby claws on my head, pulling my eyes to face his. To look at this hideous abomination responsible for untold suffering and the extinction of two of the Pony Races… I tear my head from his grasp and snort, hot air rushing from my nostrils. I flare my wings in a threatening display. "Out of my way, Discord!"

"My my, Celestia, you sure are temperamental," said Discord, snaking around me like the serpent he is. "Well, look at how you've grown. And you've got such pretty hair now, it suits you… But I think pink is still more your color," he said, snapping his fingers.

I look down, in a flash my fur is vibrant pink. I give him a glare, rage burning inside of me. Discord has always known just how to get under my skin! He just laughs his head off. "Enough games, Discord! What are you doing here?!"

Discord gave a growl of annoyance, snapping his fingers and turning my fur back. "Since when did you get so serious, Celestia? We used to have such fun toge-"

"Back then, Galaxia was still alive," I snarl, never taking my eyes off him. I narrow my eyes. I will never forgive him for what he did…I pray you never find out how that felt. "And so were Mimic, the Sea Ponies, and the Flutterponies."

"Oh, you're still sore about that?" asked Discord with a chuckle. How dare he speak light of such a horrible thing! "That was three thousand ago, Celestia, some ponies just can't let go of a grudge."

"Murderer."

"Murderer? It's not my fault I'm a little rough on my toys." replied the Lord of Chaos with a callousness that makes my blood run cold. I never thought Discord had a heart, but this… Considering multiple genocides child's play? Making me watch my family be brutally murdered?

"DISCORD APOPHIS TYPHON, STOP THESE GAMES AND TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE!" I bellow, using the traditional Canterlot voice, something I have not used in a very long time. I detest using it, it makes those below me afraid. But Discord is one who I wish feared me.

Discord blinked in surprise, then gave an annoyed growl. "Fine, talk about a party pooper, I guess I will let you in on the fun," he states, then gave a smirk. "We're just playing a little game is all, my kind of game."

I give him a strange look… Then it hits me… I'm such a fool! "No… It's a trap!"

"I wouldn't call it a trap, more of a game they have absolutely no chance of winning and will likely be completely broken playing," replies Discord with a sick smirk that makes me sick to my stomach. "Oh, I've even come up with the loveliest nicknames for them! Liarjack, Angry Pie, Fluttercruel, Rarigreed, Traitor Dash, and Twilight Tragedy. What do you think? I was also considering Greedity, but Rarigreed rolls off the tongue a lot better."

I backpedal in shock. How could this have happened? How could I forget what kind of a monster Discord is? How could I… How could I let them walk into his clutches like this?… No, I am the one everypony looks to for strength and guidance, I cannot lose hope, not now. If I give up, everypony will… I must be strong. I must be strong for them.

"They will beat you…" I say, as defiantly as I can manage. It is not an easy thing to do, given the circumstances. "They are strong willed. You shall not win, Discord!"

Discord gave a laugh as if that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. That laugh makes me sick. Every time I have ever heard it, it was during an act of unbelievable cruelty. Even before he began his reign of terror and chaos, he only laughed like that when making somepony miserable. The Draconequi were not exactly pleasant creatures by any stretch, but they had their place in harmony. Discord did not earn his title the Spirit Of Disharmony until after he had revealed what a monstrosity he really was. He was the Spirit Of Chaos. Believe it or not, even chaos had a role in the grand scheme of things. That's why one as chaotic as Pinkamenia Diana Pie is an Element Of Harmony. Order and Harmony are not one and the same. But Discord no longer has a place in harmony, not now, not ever again!  

"Really? Now Celestia, your Auntie Galaxia couldn't stop me, you and your sister got lucky, we both know if things had been just a little different, you'd have been joining Galaxia. What makes you think six mortal ponies could do any better?"

"Because those ponies have something you CAN'T understand," I retort, standing as tall as I can. I have one thing that I can hang onto, one light that I cannot allow to extinguish. "Friendship."

Discord gave a gag, of course he would. How could one not be sickened by the thing that is their very antithesis? "Don't start preaching to me, Celestia, I heard enough of that garbage back when I conquered Equestria…but if you're so confident, we'll play a little game too," he said, snaking around to look me in the eye with a smirk. "Six little ponies wandering about, I'll win this game without a doubt. But if all of them fall into my grasp, you and Luna will face my wrath," he recited, then chuckled. "Good luck, Celly!" he said with a laugh and teleported away.

As soon as Discord leaves, I try all the doors… Locked, I should have expected that. I aim my horn at the window and let loose a bolt of solar fire, shattering it to pieces. Spreading my wings, I fly straight through it… And find myself exactly where I started. Of course… Discord will not let me leave until his game is complete…
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I wait, and do the only thing I can; hope. I do not know what he'll do to me and Luna if Twilight and her friends fail… For the first time in 1000 years, I'm afraid… Not for myself, but for my student and her friends… For my sister…Thank Mother and Father that Cadence is abroad, but that will only protect her for so long…I can only hope Twilight and her friends can beat him… I feel helpless…

Finally he reappears before me in a flash of light, he looks rather annoyed.

Discord gives growl. "Fine! I guess I underestimated them just a little bit…" he growled, glaring at me. I cannot say it doesn't feel good to see him this upset. "Twilight decided not to play along… Yet… I expected her to finally give up when I sent little Traitor Dash heading off to Cloudsdale, but she didn't and the game is over. And I suppose I had to cheat on little miss 'oh I am weak and helpless', too kind for her own good… Oh well, there goes my plans to turn you and Luna into wonderful gold and silver statues for my garden."

I give a small sigh of relief… Then it hits me and my blood runs cold. "… You got to them, didn't you?"

Discord gave a laugh. "Yes, and it was the most fun I've had in eons! Honesty is lying like a dog, laughter is mad at the world, kindness is cruel as can be, generosity is carrying around this huge boulder (made her think it's a diamond she's now obsessed)… with, and last but not least, loyalty betrayed her friends to save her home," he explained, giving a laugh. "Which reminds me, I have to be quick here, I need to be in Cloudsdale soon to give her a little surprise, mustn't keep her waiting."

My heart sinks. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash… It's all my fault, I should have warned them about what Discord was capable of. "No…" I quickly rise my head and snarl. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Discord gave a laugh. "Kill me? Seriously, Celestia? Did you forget that without your precious Elements you're nothing compared to me? And even if you did kill me, well, we all remember how that turned out when your Auntie tried it, don't we?" he asked, shape shifting into the form of…of…of the rightful owner of that body he made into a copy of his own before turning back with a laugh as I intensify my glare. "Besides, they never cared about you anyway, why care about them?"

I give a snarl, I can't listen. I cannot allow him to get in my head! "My subjects are loyal to me, Discord, I love them like my children. You are not going to turn me against them, not now, not ever."

"Yes, you do treat them like children, how sweet… and boring! But I guess that just makes it that much more sad they don't really love you," said Discord, giving a fake frown.

"My subjects love me, Discord, and I love them."

"Oh really?" asked Discord. "That's not what I see. If they love you, why do cower before you whenever you go by?"

"They bow out of respect."

"Then why is everypony afraid of what you'll do to them if they mess up? Why do they think one little slip up and off to the moon they go?"

I try not to let that bother me, or at the very least, let Discord know it does. I'll admit it, I have seen my subjects react that way, and it hurts… But I can't let him know that.

"It's because you're the goddess, the alicorn, you're in charge and they know it. You tower over them like a giant. They'll never accept you, Celestia. They didn't accept Luna 1000 years ago and they still don't. As far as they're concerned, you're something powerful and alien, and they fear you for it. They fear someone more powerful than they are, and you're more powerful than them in every way."

"Enough… That's enough Discord! My subjects do not fear me!"

Discord chuckled, slithering around me and putting his eagle claw over my shoulder. I try to shake it off, but he doesn't budge. "Oh Celestia, so naïve; even after all this time, you still think those mortal ponies can accept a goddess like you as one of their own," he stated, like an adult talking to a child. "Let me enlighten you a little bit."

I hear his fingers snap… Then I heard it… Them… Hundreds of thousands of voices…

"Princess Celestia is coming to town, we have to have everything in order or we're in big trouble!"

"If everything isn't perfect, who knows what she'll do!"

"She'll throw me in the dungeon if she finds out!"

"Here comes Princess Celestia! We'd better bow or she'll send us to the moon just like she did her sister!"

"Princess Celestia will probably banish me to the Everfree Forest! MY LIFE IS RUINED!!"

And thousands more, all screaming in my head, thousands of voices yelling the same fears… All of them afraid of me… They… They do fear me… All of them… They all fear me…

"No… You… You're playing mind games, Discord, I won't listen!" I can't listen, can't let him get in my head! He must be lying! He has to be!

"And you know what's saddest of all? Twilight Sparkle, your dearest little pupil who you love like a daughter? She's the one who fears you the most."

Then I hear it… The most painful words I've ever heard since His Mother showed me my mistake over three thousand years ago.

"Everything has to be perfect! Celestia won't want to be my teacher anymore if I mess up!"

"Oh no! If she finds out I messed up like this, she'll throw me in the dungeon!"

"If she sees Ponyville eaten by Parasprites and finds out it's my fault, she'll take me away from Ponyville and send me back to magic kindergarten!"

"I ruined the Winter Wrap-Up, when Celestia finds out, she'll send me to the moon!"

"She might banish you from Equestria! Or throw you in a dungeon! Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!"

"I got Discord's riddle wrong… It's all my fault… If we ever get out of this mess, Princess Celestia will never want to see me again, she'll banish me from Equestria… Maybe she'll even turn me to stone like she did Discord…"

"No… Twilight…" I feel tears running down my face as I sink to my knees… He's right… Even… Even Twilight is afraid of me… The pony I love like a daughter is afraid of me… Terrified of me… They're all… They're all terrified of me…

Discord puts his snout close to my ear, I no longer resist... "Oh don't act so surprised, you've known it from the get go, I'm just making you face the truth. It's all because you're the big alicorn who towers over them. Who has the power over all of Equestria and controls the sun and moon. It's because you're the big important leader that they're afraid of you. And who wants all that dull responsibility anyway? Wouldn't you rather just be able to play with them whenever you feel like? Like when you were a little filly and could play with Luna whenever you felt like… If you were smaller than her and didn't rule Equestria, Twilight wouldn't have a reason to be afraid and you could spend some quality time with her, couldn't you? You could play all day with your little subjects and never have to do anything to be pulled away from them."

He puts his hand on my head, I feel myself shrinking, my sense of responsibility waning. Shouldn't I care?… Maybe he's right… Maybe it is easier if I just let it go… If I just relinquish my responsibility, my power. What has it ever done but cause me pain? It kept me too busy to see my sister falling to darkness. I've never been able to spend time with my nephew Blueblood… He's only how he is because I let him become like this… Twilight is terrified of me because of my power… I'm tired of everypony being afraid of me all the time…

"Who wants to be the responsible one? Who wants to be in charge if pain is all it brings you? Sometimes it's easier to just be a little filly without a care in the world. I'll even give you a tiny bit of my power to play around with…after all, it's the least I can do for playing along so nicely in my little game."

When you have power, everypony fears you. When you're big, they feel small and that's not right! And who wants to be a stuffy old fuddy-duddy who doesn't have time to play? Who wants to be too busy to play and spend time with their friends! That's just so boring! I never want to grow up! I'll just play all day long and nopony will have to be scared of me ever again! Yeah, that's what I'll do! And it's all thanks to my best friend in the whole world; Discord!