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So apparently that whole thing with Paypal?

It was a misunderstanding stemming from the guy in the video reading the worst in something and having no idea what he was actually talking about (Atomic Chinchilla wasn't at fault, the guy in the original video was).

I am sorry Paypal, but this is why your policies should be in plain simple english and not legalese. 

I'm sorry for spreading some panic, I was paniced, I was scared. 

And this is why I hate fear mongers.
Fourth Wall Breaking Variety Show: Dark World Edition
By Kendell 2


A cleaning cloth carefully rubbed an old, filthy camera lens for a few moments until it finally lowered, revealing the face of Apple Computer, who blew on the lens, fogging it up.

“Those old camera things of Aunt Pinkie's all fixed up now pa?” Apple Pie asked, popping up next to her father to try and get a closer look.

The stallion nodded. “Yeah, Ah think so. Surprised these things are still in one piece after a thousand years with Crazy Top Hat Discord runnin' around,” he said, rubbing his head. It'd taken quite a bit of work to get them back in working order though.

“Well, her letter did say she had 'em stored all over Equestria in case of camera emergencies,” the little filly replied. “...Which doesn't make much sense, Equestria wasn't covered in cameras!” she said with a giggle.

Apple Computer tapped his chin. “Well, there was that time we had a camera storm, but those were photo cameras...”

“Oh yeah, Ah remember that! Good thing all the ones on the front lawn merged inta a giant camera monster, or it'd have taken awhile tah clean 'em all up!”

“Excuse me, Apple Pie, I think we need to get this started,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, jumping up on Apple Computer's  back as well.

“Oh! Right! Sorry, Diamond!”

Diamond looked to Apple Computer. “Thank you, Mr. Apple Computer, we can handle it from here.”

“Alright Diamond, yah two fillies enjoy yerself,” said the stallion, nodding and heading out, revealing a TV studio behind them, Fourth Wall Breaking Studios written on the wall.

The two jumped up onto a chair. Diamond Tiara cleared her throat and pulled a letter out of her ear with a cartoony sound effect. “Hello everyone, I'm Diamond Tiara, the new Element of Cruelty” she said, putting a hoof to her chest. “...I'm cruel to bad guys now.”

“And Ah'm Apple Pie!” called the other filly cheerfully. “Yah know? Element of Laughter?!”

“And this is the Fourth Wall Breaking Verity Show Dark World edition!” called both.

Apple Pie blinked, looking to Diamond. “Uh...Diamond, what's the Fourth Wall? And why are we 'breakin' it?”

“Well, it's...” the pink filly asked, looking evasive. “Pinkie Pie talk, let's leave it at that.”

“Oh!...Yah speak Pinkie Pie?”

“Yes, I have her weird powers...and I've honestly heard weirder things from the voices in my head while I was insane.”

“...Yah bein' sarcastic?”

“I honestly don't know anymore."

"Hehe! That don't make any sense!"

"Now cover your ears, I have to break the fourth wall.”

“Okay...” Apple Pie said, covering her ears.

Diamond Tiara turned to the camera. “Now, the Author has been really busy with making other worlds for other Shadows who are paying him, so the next chapter of OUR story, Dark World Drabbles, is taking awhile. Just know we'll be right back to saving the Crystal Empire soon enough. But he doesn't want you to forget about us!...And to be honest, neither do I...so he talked with our old Shadow Who Makes if it'd be alright to take a little page from his book. And then had Pinkie Pie send us a letter from the afterlife explaining how to do it...”




Pinkie Pie sighed, looking at a now empty wallet. “Who knew postage from the afterlife would be so expensive...”




The pink filly pulled out a mailbox from her ear and planted it in the ground next to her. “So here's what we're going to do. You write what happens next or some letters to us or whatever down there in those comments there, then Mrs. Derpy will bring the letters to this mail box here. Got it? Good!”

Diamond Tiara looked at the letter. “Oh! And apparently there are some rules: 1. What you put in the comments appears in the story.
2. Nopony besides me and mama can see beyond the fourth wall or interact with it and I can't spill the beans about us being out-and-out fiction to the others.
3. The camera can’t leave the studio, though we do have a telescope thing.
4. The characters can be from any generation, toy or comic but they have to be from “My little Pony”
5. Everything that happens here is non-canon.
7. Have Fun "

Diamond Tiara put down the list. “And that's about it. So sit down, relax, and pay attention to me-I mean us...sorry, force of habit...Also, the others should be here soon, so don't worry. I KNOW Silver Spoon will be here in a couple minutes.”

“Can Ah uncover mah ears now?!” asked Apple Pie, rather loudly.

“Yes.”

“What?!”

Diamond Tiara gave a sigh. “YES!”

“Okay, yah don't have tah yell!”




A letter appeared out of nowhere to float down to the present ponies.

Apple Pie was hardly surprised since there was the one time Master Pumper Discord had employed ghosts to deliver the mail. Not to those who had ordered something of course.

“Wait, this can happen once the Fourth Wall is broken! Some of those can have questions to answer, the rest is known as a strange pointless mass called spam.” Diamond Tiara said.

“Let’s see… introduction… yada yada yada… season 5 spoilers… bla bla bla… Ah! Here is a question: What was it like to fight against Grogar’s forces and finally Grogar himself, are you getting used to be heroes?”

“Yeah that was really something. I mean we did save the world before and then a second time soon afterwards. And now there’s the thing about the Crystal Empire coming… We will have to keep doing these things, aren’t we?” Apple Pie wondered.

“Well… we do have a list about all the sealed evils from Luna but most are crossed off the list. Uncle Discord did “accidentally” take care of a lot of them. I’m just glad that it is not like these comic books where the same villain gets used again and again because they are popular.” Diamond answered.

“So Grogar won’t return as a Space Mecha Alien Dragon Zombie Plus Two?”

“No.” The Element of Cruelty had seen weirder things in the chaotic world but Grogar was likely taking a permanent vacation in Tartarus right now.

“Still he was frighteningly clever. No joke. Building a team to counter Prized Pillar Discord’s team and they would have actually won if we hadn’t gained a lot more friends since then. They didn’t play by comic book rules either and never fell apart because of bickering.” Apple Pie felt like pouting.

“Hey if we fight with everything we got to save the world what is stopping the villains to do the same to reach their goals?”

“I guess that is sorta fair. But I’m more exited about the Crystal Empire once we are done saving it. There’s much to do: meeting other foals, reading new comic books, playing new games and having fun with new friends!”

Diamond Tiara nodded. "...And I will say one thing about fighting Grogar: it felt good to actually be a HERO for once period..." Diamond Tiara continued, giving a small smile.




Another letter floated down.

"And here we go! Hey, this one is from a Shadow that sent letters to the old 4th Wall Breaking Show, too!" Apple Pie looked at the envelope in her hooves. She opened it and started to read. "'Nice to see you fillies again' -- aww!" Apple Pie smiled. "He's a nice Shadow..."

"Maybe," Diamond Tiara said. She'd gotten a glance at the envelope and remembered the stories that Princess Libra, Applejack, and the others told her about some Shadows.

"Anyway, whatever happened to that 'Power Ponies' show that was mentioned in Dark World a few times? How did it stay on for 1000 years? Did it ever go off the air?" Apple Pie looked up. "Easy answer? Discord did it! The longer one, well?" She looked expectantly at Diamond Tiara.

"He liked it so he kept it on," Diamond said. "Trapped in pure formula, he said once. Something about how that'd teach Pandy-somebody to say bad things about his jokes." Looking uneasy, she said, "But sometimes it wasn't easy... I wish I could show everyone how it ended."

"Maybe we can with this?" Apple Pie said, holding up a machine labeled Flashback Displayer, use with caution. It seemed to combine a helmet with wires leading to a movie camera. She quickly set the helmet on Diamond Tiara's head and began to run it.

***

DT, at that moment a music-box pony along, watched a massive screen in Discord's Palace. Most of the Chaos Six were elsewhere, but Traitor Dash huddled nearby under her thin blanket. Still, she watched the screen, looking almost eager. Discord reclined in a bottle of soda and drank an easy chair. Fluttercruel watched, tapping one hoof and snorting.

"Yeesh, come on, when are they gonna kill something?"

"Now, now, patience my dear," Discord said. "The story does need some plot development before killing anything. It needs to actually start, at least." He frowned and muttered, "Though I know of ONE monster I'd love to see them smash to bits."

Fluttercruel looked at him, her eyes watering. Discord sighed.

"Oh, not this time." He shook his claw at her. Fluttercruel pouted and crossed her forelegs, the very image of a balked foal. Discord just said, "You need to learn some self control, young lady. I'm beginning to think this show is a bad influence." A handful of hippogriffs came into the room, bearing a petition pleading for mercy. He snapped his claws and they turned into featherdusters. "Honestly, you seem to be turning into a hit of a bully sometimes."

"Hey, where's Angry Pie?" Traitor Dash looked at Discord. She waved one hoof. "And why aren't her foals her to  watch?"

"She forbade them because it was teaching them bad manners," Discord said, glancing at Fluttercruel, "Which I can agree with. She said she was going to chat with the cast." The music began and he shushed her, zipping her mouth shut with a snap of his claw. "No more noise Dash, the show is on. Or would you rather I had them show 'The Death of the Nasty Traitor Scootaloo' again?"

Dash frantically shook her head no. Discord smiled benevolently as on the screen a bleary-eyed pony, his mane falling out and looking slightly manic, smiled crookedly at the audience. Behind and around him showed other ponies of the show's crew, looking just as bad. He began to speak, sounding half mad.

"And welcome everypony, to the newest season of Mighty Morphin' Pony Rangers. We've had a 978-year run without any interruptions, and it's all because of Supreme Banana Discord, who... won't let us STOP!" He giggled hysterically. He shivered and got back under control. "Anyway, before we begin, we're getting a very special message from one of I Am So Much Cooler Than Tirek Discord's loyal servants, Angry Pie -- wait, what?!?"

With a wild roar Angry Pie charged out from behind a curtain, her hooves knocking holes in the concrete floor. Everypony cringed back, looking for an exit.

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN!" Angry Pie yelled. They all froze as she added, "I have something to say!" To their amazement, she calmed and said, "First of all, I want to register my dissatisfaction with the way you promote sugary and unhealthy snacks for foals on this show..."

"Hmmph," Discord said. He reached into a sugar bowl that he held, took out a videocassette of the MLP 3.5 World, and swallowed it. "I have NO idea what she's talking about. I approved of this stuff myself!"

"And secondly," Angry Pie said, muzzle in the air, "Must you really glorify violence for foals the way you do? Because that UPSETS ME!" She roared the last out and glared right into the announcer's face. She sat back and said quietly, "I would appreciate a prompt response."

"You?" The announcer giggled nervously and failed to notice the fury boiling in Angry's eyes. "Offended by violence?" He laughed.

Immediately half a dozen hooves clapped over his muzzle. Too late.

Angry Pie shrieked in rage and leaped on them. The image went to static in mid-leap, but a few sounds of furious violence and agonized shrieks continued anyway as the screen showed message reading, EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUE TO DISCORD-RELATED MAYHEM, PLEASE STAND BY. Over it showed an image of Discord manifesting out of a camera lens and zapping the camerapony.

***

"Huh, so that's why the show went off the air," Apple Pie said.

"Yeah," Diamond Tiara said, removing the helmet and fixing her mane. "Good thing Katydid wasn't around, she loved Power Ponies."

"Is that why the Changeling Rangers are like that?"

"Pretty much."




Another letter floated down and Diamond Tiara opened it.

"Hello, this letter is from Fawn Doo and Marcie Pan. Discord made us immortal so we could never die. Locked us in one of the kitchens, and forgot about us. We produce the legendary PheNOMNOMenons, the sweet cake so addictive that you'll never able to have enough. We have several hundred years worth of back stock. Could you help us unload some of them? (They're so full of preservatives and sugar that they'll taste like new). Oh, and of course make us filthy rich in the process."

Apple Pie blinked. "Oh boy! those do sound tasty, think we should go help 'em out?"

Diamond Tiara nodded...then heard a cough from off stage, her mother looking at her. "Oh right, we still need to host the show...We can go afterwards."

"Alright...still, doesn't feel right tah turn down ponies who need help! It ain't the Apple Pie spirit!"

Diamond Tiara blinked. "You or your family?"

"Both!"

Diamond Tiara nodded slowly. "That still confuses me. Okay, so what should we do then?"

Apple Pie trotted over to an area with a bullseye on the floor and a little lightbulb hanging down over her head.

Golden Tiara blinked. "What's that, Princess?"

"The studio's thinking place," Diamond Tiara explained. "It was Scootaloo's idea, she said the Crusaders had one at their club house back in the day."

Apple Pie gasped. "Ah got an idea!"




Diamond Tiara looked through the studio's telescope.

Luna and Libra watched Celly literally run circles on the ceiling. "She has a sugar rush," Luna remarked in disbelief. "Thou hath managed to give an Alicorn a sugar rush. The cake the size of a castle we got when we first took the throne did not do that, how much sugar tis in those treats?!"

The two Earth Ponies looked up from counting money. "A lot."

Libra sighed. "Well, at least she's happy...how did she get on the chandelier?"

Diamond Tiara pouted, looking away from the telescope. "Celly's so lucky, those treats look so good...mom?"

"I'll get you some afterwards, princess."

"Okay..."

"Can't you just use those wacky toon powers of yers tah get some?" asked Apple Pie, cocking her head.

"No, because it's more funny for me NOT to get them right now...so I can't get them..."

"Oh..." Apple Pie chuckled a little bit about the paradox.




Yet another letter fluttered down from the ceiling, a large manilla envelope as plain as could be.  When Diamond Tiara opened it, though, all kinds of confetti and party steamers came blasting out, decorating her mane and filling half the room.

Apple Pie gasped.  "Don't tell me Telephone Sanitizer Discord is back!?"

Diamond pulled out a glitter-encrusted letter and smirked.  "It's from Princess Thalia."  She cleared her throat.  "Dear Diamond Tiara and Apple Pie... Congratulations on starting your own variety show! I just wrapped up mine, and I'm bursting with ideas and fun new things to try! Not literally bursting. It'd be tough on the space-time continuum if I did that too much now. Anyway, I'd hop right over and come be a guest on *your* show, but your Wolf would probably get all grumpy?" She gave a perplexed look to Apple Pie, who only shrugged in response.

"Our Wolf was really grouchy before he died and got better.  Has yours died too?  I sure hope meany Discord and super meany Paradox weren't too hard on him.  Make sure you never stop smiling... unless you don't really feel like smiling and it's just getting kind of creepy.  It's okay to stop smiling then.  Love, Princess Thalia."




Apple Pie blinked. "Princess Thalia...wait, Auntie Pinkie Pie from another universe?! She's an Alicorn now!"

"Apparently..." said Diamond Tiara. "The Lovecat Tribe will probably be happy to hear that."

There was a knock on the door. "Come in!"

"Hey kids," said Rainbow Dash, entering with Scootaloo on one side and Applejack...or Saint Abigail as some called her on the other. "Wow, you girls built this place?!"

"Well, not exactly, we helped," said Diamond Tiara.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "Who helped you?"

"Aww!"

The camera swiveled to reveal a young Hippogriff named Cherry Pie, a young sea pony named Waterflower, and a young Changeling nymph named Lady Bug, surrounded by construction equipment. All three looking at their bare flanks.

"We didn't get our Cutie Marks!" Lady Bug complained.

"Guess we ain't Cutie Mark Crusader Construction Workers either..." said Cherry Pie.

Rainbow Dash suddenly looked at the building in concern. "I supervised them, don't worry," Scootaloo reassured. "And the Apple Pies helped...complete with a song."

"...I guess that explains the thinking place..."




Another letter opened in, it was covered in stickers and cute little crayon drawings. It read.

'Hi, I'm Queen Scary Story from Crystal-Land! My best friends in the world are Heartsong and Bright Shield! They're from Unicornia! They're really nice! I just want to wish you a happy happy super fun time with your show! Cheer!'  

"Wow, she sounds really nice!" Apple Pie said cheerfully.

"Yeah, but I thought Unicoria was the Unicorn's name for Equestria before the three tribes come together, wasn't it?"

"Ah think that's what Aunt AJ said when she told the story."

Diamond Tiara blinked. "Wait, I thought that was a noncanonish thing."

Apple Pie cocked her head. "Didn't yah say this was 'noncanon' too?"

"...So I did."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "I'm don't think I'll ever get used to you being another Pinkie Pie...

---

Another letter, a pink one, and a box appeared.

Diamond Tiara carefully read it. 'Thank you for your non-returnable purchase of one Planet Express What-If Machine MK 3. We hope you enjoy viewing possibilities but never certainties of your universal cluster. Or not. Doesn't matter because you owe us 900 Million Earthican Dollars (Plus Tax, Shipping And Handling, and Customs) , hope your exchange rate is good. We have means of collecting payments that are un fulfilled. Most of them include spending a three-day weekend with the Pain Monster. No, that's not just a fancy name!'

The girls paled.

"I don't think even daddy ever made that much money," Diamond Tiara said.

"YES! I am the What-If Machine MK-3! Created by my brilliant creator! A misunderstood genius! Take me out and behold my magnificence!" Came a voice inside the box. "You should be honored my great and infallible maker gave you such a overly generous cost! Seriously, you're taking advantage of him! I am also non-refundable."

Rainbow Dash facehoof. "Where did you guys even order this thing?!"

"Some nice blue unicorn with a coyote necklace gave us order forms!" Apple Pie lamented. "She said it'd help with the show and would be 'worth every bit!'...all things considerin' she probably wasn't very nice."

"Take me out of this and behold me!"

Applejack sighed. "Apple Pie, dear, what have I told you about reading contracts for fine print?"

"...Do it."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because there was so much of it! The contract was longer than meh!"

Applejack sighed. "Do you still have it?"

She nodded, going into a nearby closet and producing a copy of a gigantic contract.

"Alright, I'm going to look through this for a loophole or double meaning to get you out of this, get that thing out of the box. Isn't right to keep it in there," the Element of Fantasy explained.

Diamond Tiara nodded slowly. "Thank you Applejack."

She opened the box and produced a machine that looked like a futuristic shiny chromed silver machine...that resembled an old antenna TV with a crank on it.

"Huh, it looks just like Alternate Aunt Pinkie's except yah know, shinier."

"Nonsense! I am a major upgrade over my inferior prototypes!" yelled the machine.

"How?" asked Apple Pie, cocking her head.

"I have an artificial intelligence program and chromed plating!"

"Uh...the old one was alive now, actually..." Diamond Tiara remarked, looking at a transcript she pulled out of nowhere.

"...I have chrome plating!"

"...Okay, it's actually pretty nice," Diamond Tiara admitted, Apple Pie nodding.




"Another letter appeared.
'After it has been paid off, the Gizmonks of Tambelon would like to offer 2,000 gears and cogs for the what-if machine for the purpose of dismantling it so we might invent a machine for the public welfare that mails letters BEFORE they're written.'"

"Wait what?!" the Machine asked in horror.

"They use gears and cogs for money in Tambelon?" Apple Pie asked surprised.

"Why is that a surprise? We've literally used everything," Diamond Tiara replied. "Our last currency was action figures."

"Yeah, but that was Unwashed Dentures Discord's idea. Grogar is supposed to be the orderly one."

"You won't actually give them this unit, will you?" the machine asked, displaying a terrified emoticon on its screen.

"Nah, grandma always said 'don't sell anythin' that might be sapient, it's rude,'" Apple Pie replied in a cheeriful voice.

"...That is not something my creator would have said...In fact his will specifically says 'sell the What If Machine to scrape dealing aliens'..."

"Huh...That's almost as weird as some things in Uncle Discord's will...Which was recorded on a fourth dimensional pancake..."

"Like 'I hope that Ah died bein' run over by a bulldozer driven by Saddle Rager'?"

"It was his favorite potential death. I wonder what would've happened if he'd actually died that way..."

"Showing potential situation!" The What If Machine announced.

"Wait what?"

---

Dark World Heroes stood before Nightmare Eclipse, somehow endowed with the powers of the Power Ponies with Discord standing by.

---

"Wait, that actually happened in one loop?" Rainbow Dash asked, blinking.

"Apparently..."

---

"It's no good, we still can't win..." Twilight muttered, despite having the combined might of the Masked Matterhorn and her own.

Discord looked thoughtfully for a second, as if someone was talking to him. "Fluttercruel!"

The currently hulked out pony looked to him. "What?!"

"Smash me! Preferably with a bulldozer because I've always wanted to die like that! I'll make myself vulnerable!"

"What?!"

"Do it if you love me! Think of that time I grounded you from weapons for a week!"

Eclipse blinked. "...This is the weirdest fight with you NPCs I've ever had."

Discord manifested a bulldozer.

"But...dad..."

"Do it if you love me! Listen to your father or I'll ground you from weapons for a eon next cycle-Ow! My everything!..."

---

Diamond Tiara whimpered and covered her eyes. "I can't watch this..."

Apple Pie hugged her.

---

"Ugh...that's good..."

"Suicide, Discord? Haven't we tried this alr-"

"Now throw me at her like a javelin!"

"What?!"

"Father Smash!"

Eclipse was knocked through a wall behind her when Fluttercruel/Saddle Rager threw the obviously mortally wounded Discord into her head, impaling her on his horns as multiple black tendrils emerged from him.

"What a wonderful day! I get to drag you to Mom with me, and I got to die my favorite cause of death ever!"

---

Apple Pie blinked as Discord said his heart felt goodbyes and dragged both of them into Oblivion.

"Huh...Guess that's why he told us tah stay away from him."

---

In Pony Hell, Nightmare Eclipse sitting next to Morning Star inside the giant gem that is their prison for eternity, watching the show.

"The whole 'getting dragged into oblivion with Discord' thing is getting boring."

"They've only shown two so far dear."

"Yes, but I have to EXPERIENCE every single possible defeat! It's annoying!"  

The camera flickered back to the studio.

"What was that?" Diamond Tiara asked as Apple Pie looked at the camera.

"I'm not sure, I think we picked up some interference."

Cherry Pie, a young sea pony named Waterflower, and a young Changeling nymph named Lady Bug,

With the hosts busy, Cherry Pie, Waterflower, and Lady Bug curiously moved to the door, having done more than being the 'live audience' for a while, and Cherry Pie opened the door.

They found a faded colored mare with an equal sign for a cutie mark wearing a dirty and average crafted hood and cape, her mane cut being equally average as well. Her bright eyes and huge grin being all the more pronounced because of it.

"Hello little foals, have you heard the good news about Equality?"

Applejack came up and slammed the door shut. "OW! MY NOISE!"

"Not interested," AJ said evenly.

"HEY! The Equestrian Constitution protects my right to share my way-of-life in a non-violent manner!" Her muffled voice was heard through the door.

---

"It still kinda weird seein' Big Stop Watch Discord as a good guy..." Apple Pie said. "Reminds meh of that comic were Super Stallion's mirror universe self is Ultra Stallion and he's a bad guy...Ah wonder what our mirror universe is like..."

"Showing alternate world!" The What If Machine announced.

---

"Haha! Take that Ultra Stallion! Alexander Silversmith saved the day again!" called Poison Apple, sitting on her bed reading comic books.

Apple Pie sat on her bed, reading an encyclopedia on chaos theory.

---

"Wait...he WON?" Apple Pie asked. "But Ah thought the good guys couldn't win in that world...Poison Apple readin' comics and meh readin' sciency stuff?...Yeah, that kinda makes sense. But that ain't how the comics said it worked."

"But if it's OUR Mirror Universe, doesn't that mean in the comics our Mirror Universe is their normal universe so the good guys can win, but their mirror universe is our normal universe and the bad guys always win?" Diamond Tiara asked, then groaned as the line of thought made her go crosseyed. "Ugh, that makes my head hurt..."

"Hehe..." Apple Pie giggled. "That's kinda funny though."

The What If Machine was sparking. "Don't-think-about-it-don't-think-about-it-don't-think-about-it..."




"Alright, show us somethin' else!" Apple Pie yelled, interested.

"Showing potential reality!"




Shining Armor stood glowing with a powerful aura, wings now on his back in addition to the horn on his head.

He snarled and launched himself forwards at speeds most pegasi could only imagine, a forcefield bubble forming around him.

The blow was caught by Destruction, the Draconequus planting his feet in preparation for the blow. At impact, a shockwave reduced the ground they stood on to a crater and caused the sky above to part.

The Spirit of Destruction itself gave a laugh akin to a foal who'd finally found a playmate to play a game with that could actually keep up with him at long last, not malicious in the slightest.

"Hehe! Feel good being a god, Shining?" Destruction asked in amusement.

"...It's incredible..." Shining Armor said, the two not moving from their stalemate even as the clouds continued being forced back from the sheer force they were pushing against each other.

"Really? Surprised?" Destruction laughed. "Guess it might take awhile for you to really get how much you can do now!"

The two rose up high into the air, above everypony watching.

They then collided with ungodly force, the two trading attacks and blows. Destruction's meeting a shield that seemed to refuse to break no matter how much force struck it and the God of Destruction obliterating the shield valleys sent his way. This continued throughout the buildings of Canterlot at such speeds most ponies couldn't even see them until they finally paused high above it.

"This is great! Now you're getting it! I haven't had this much fun in awhile!" Destruction cackled in glee. "I don't get to cut loose against somepony that can take it very often!" He then paused, noticing Shining didn't seem to be having as much fun as he was. "Huh? What's wrong?"

"I'm disappointed..." Shining admitted.

"Huh? Why?! You don't like being a God?"

"I've been trying all my life to protect everything...to protect Twiley...now I need to get some power up from the Elements to do that..." Shining admitted, looking down. "...I wish I'd reached this level on my own...for them..."

Destruction scratched his head. "Then why'd you do it?"

"...Because this way I have a chance to protect them..."

The two then resumed their battle, blows colliding with such force that the ponies on the ground wondered if an Earthquake was happening.




"Huh? Who's Shining Armor?" asked Apple Pie, cocking her head.

"And isn't Uncle Destruction dead?" asked Diamond Tiara, cocking hers as well.
Fourth Wall Breaking Variety Show: Dark World
"Hello everyone, Diamond Tiara here."

"And Ah'm Apple Pie!"

"And here's something fun until the next episode of Dark World Drabbles."

"Here's the Rules:

    1. What you put in the comments appears in the story.

    2. Nopony besides me and mama can see beyond the fourth wall or interact with it and I can't spill the beans about us being out-and-out fiction to the others.

    3. The camera can’t leave the studio, though we do have a telescope thing.

    4. The characters can be from any generation, toy or comic but they have to be from “My little Pony

 5. Everything that happens here is non-canon.

    6. Have Fun"

Parts Added:

- :iconitsfrompeople: and little by me.

- :iconardashir: and a little by me.
- :iconalexwarlorn: and a good bit by me!
- :iconmtangalion:
- :iconkendell2:
- :iconalexwarlorn: with some by me...twice.
- :iconalexwarlorn: 
- :iconkendell2:
- :iconalexwarlorn:
-:iconkendell2:

Pony POV Series belongs to :iconalexwarlorn:

MLP belongs to Hasbro!

EDIT: made a smal one that felt funnier about the What-If-Machine's reaction.

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  • Mood: Rage
Paypal BullshitOn July 1st, 2015, Paypal is updating its terms of service.
Amendment to the PayPal User Agreement.
Intellectual Property

We are adding a new paragraph to section 1.3., which outlines the licence and rights that you give to us and to the PayPal Group (see paragraph 12 below for the definition of “PayPal Group”) to use content that you post for publication using the Services. A similar paragraph features in the Privacy Policy, which is removed by the addition of this paragraph to the User Agreement. The new paragraph at section 1.3 reads as follows:
“When providing us with content or posting content (in each case for publication, whether on- or off-line) using the Services, you grant the PayPal Group a non-exclusive, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, royalty-free, sublicensable (through multiple tiers) right to exercise any and all copyright, publicity, trademarks, database rights and intellectual property rights you have in the content, in any media know


My thoughts are as followed:

Paypal, if this is real, you are stupid beyond reason for the following reasons:

1) There is no actual way to ENFORCE this in any way shape or form.
2) The internet are now waiting outside your HQ with torches and pitchforks, the internet didn't let the GOVERNMENT get away with horseapples like this, what makes you think you can? Your everything will soon be crashed with so many letters, petitions, and phone calls you won't know what to do with them all.
3) Google thanks you for giving everybody a reason to use Google Wallet. Thank you for handing them another key to world domination. 
4) I don't even have to LINK to the thing I'm being paid for when we use your service or show you it in any way, shape, or form. All it takes to bypass this little greedy money grab is to type 'gift' as the reason for sending the money.


Alright, Internet, we have a protocol for this kind of situation. Let's see those petitions and protests we've made ourselves famous for.

EDIT: I found this bit of info:


"As someone who has written t&c's and privacy policies for a number of organisations including a financial services company, I can say that this paragraph is in all likelihood there specifically for the purposes of UGC (user generated content) submitted to or through the Paypal website.  Think user reviews on products, product feedback, comments etc.  There might not currently be any UGC type content in place on Paypals website right now, but I'd wager its in the works if not for Paypal itself, then a subsidiary or other company in the group, possibly EBAY.  It's a case of asserting any rights of anything submitted to their website, so they may then publish those items without any comeback from Joe Public who submitted them. Many bluechip retail corporations have the exact same policy in place, and in fact I have added a very similar paragraph to the T&C of a UK based retail business in the last few days just in case they go down the route of having any form of user generated content on the site."

Quoted from a youtube comment. 

So apparently it might just be in preparation for something paypal is ADDING in the future, not ALL things bought or sold through Paypal. Maybe.

Still, this is stupid and paypal royally shot themselves in the foot.
Commission: Tales from the Dark Side of the Mirror:
Planning (the Death of) a Party
By Kendell2
Commissioned by and idea by Grimwolf001

Ugh, again?! Applejack, were you listening when I told you hard cider is bad for you?! Equines can only drink twenty-five cups before getting drunk and she's got twenty six here! Good thing I came along or she might have gotten sick. There we go, all gone. And I thought she was doing so well when she told me she was going to go steal those healthy apples. I hope that went better than the time I told her to steal candy from babies.

Who am I? I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie. And no, I'm not a bad guy! It is my sworn duty to ensure that everypony remembers to behave healthy and safe! Don't you know there billions of ways to get sick or hurt every single second of the day? And billions of ways the 'fun little things' you like to do are just bait for a trap? You must always be on guard! Just hanging out with the others means I can do my sacred duty whether anypony wants me to or not. Like stealing candy from babies so they don't get cavities or pick up bad eating habits that early in life. I don't blame ponies (much) though, unhealthy habits are often hidden behind a big smile. The things that are worst for you look like they'd be the happiest things ever, but don't believe it! The cake lies!

Paranoid?! I'm not paranoid! I'm honest!...Oh great, I'm getting worked up. Stress is bad for you and can lead to a heart attack or stroke! I need to go do my daily meditation and calm down.

...Oh wait, I need to eat lunch right now. Missing a meal is bad for you too. It zaps your energy for the day, leads to decreased nutrition, and might result in bad dietary practices becoming habits. Yes, even if you miss just one, you need a proper dietary regiment or you might suffer from eating disorders. Good thing I replaced all the food in the fridge with fresh fruits and veggies! Those things weren't cheap!

“Pinkamena!” called Fluttershy, glaring at me. “Did you throw out all of our food?...Again?”

“You can thank me later!” I reply. “This is much healthier!”

“Sure, because throwing out food during a famine is so healthy,” she said, rolling her eyes at me.

Well it's better to be hungry than put bad stuff in your body! No pony else seems to get that! They'd rather have something 'tasty' than something that's actually good for them! Don't they get that to survive the way things are now you need to be healthy?!

Oh, Applejack's back.

“How did stealing that apple go?” I ask.

She gives a smirk. “Oh, Ah stole it, got it right here,” she said, pulling it out of her pocket.

“Cool, you gonna eat it? Apples are low in fat, cholesterol, and sodium, and a good source of fiber and Vitamin C. Just be careful to chew each bite thirty-two times so you don't choke.”

“Ugh...you're a walking medical encyclopedia, yah know that? Eh, maybe Ah'll eat it. With all the damage the Princesses did even the apples ain't sweet no more, hardly worth stealin' 'em...” she said, then went over to where her nasty stash of hard cider is and took a drink from one of the bottles.

...And then spat it out... “What in tarnation?!”

“It's carrot juice!” I said, smiling helpfully. “You can thank me later!”

“Thank you?! I do declare if you were not my friend I-Ah mean, if we weren't friends Ah'd hogtie you!”

I gave her a glare. “Why?! That nasty cider wasn't going to do you any good! Carrot juice is a good source of Vitamins A and C, plus contains iron and calcium for strong bones! It's good for you!”

“At least cider would make mah head stop hurtin fer on-hey, wait a minute! Are yah sayin' mah bones aren't tough?! All of meh is tough!”

“It won't be for long if you don't take care of it!”

Ugh...sometimes I think Twilight and Rainbow are the only ponies that ever listens to me. And even then they get distracted by every little thing. At least Twilight cares about facts and figures.

“Ugh...Did you at least use mah credit card?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Good!...Ugh! Ah'll just go play some Grand Theft Chariot V, unless yah replaced all of the games with fitness games!...Again!”

I gave a sigh. “I can't, Fluttershy won't give me the key to the game cabinet anymore and Twilight won't let me use her science set to make a fake key.”

Well at least she left my games out where anypony could play them. Seriously, I don't know why everypony got upset when I did that before, who wants to sit on their flanks for hours having 'fun' when you could be working out and actually doing something?! After all, idle hooves are Celestia's playthings. You're only safe from temptation when you're doing something productive.

Before our conversation could go any further, there was a crash and a bit of plaster falls on my head. Ugh! Now I'm going to have to disinfect my mane! This place is old, there's a five percent chance there might be lead in the paint! “Rainbow's back...”

She sticks her head in through the window. “Am I still banished girls?”

We both gave a sigh. Yes, we banished her to the roof. We had to! She's a danger to all of our health! Huh? 'Why are we still friends with her then?'...Because she actually listens to me.

“Ugh...fine, just don't break any-”

“Oops...Sorry...”

Good, she broke that flower Fluttershy put up. It was way too bright and fun. It couldn't have been anything good...Probably was poisonous or something.

I gave a gasp as her head went up. “Rainbow, you've got a black eye, where did that come from? Did you run into a pole trying to get that one scooter girl's attention? Or were you just trying to 'have fun?'”

Rainbow had this fascination with some filly that was on TV, I don't know, I only watch Fawn Doo and Marcie Pan's show for nutrition tips.

“No, not this time...Um...some ponies got mad at me and...well...I deserved it...”

“Here, let me get the first aid kit, that could get infected.”

Of course I patched her up! Leaving a wound untreated is just asking for trouble! It could get infected then she might have to have her eye removed!

“Where the Tartarus are those ponies? Ah'll go teach 'em a lessen, and maybe get arrested for aggravated assault while Ah'm at it!” Applejack told her, giving a snort. “No pony messes with one of us!...Except for the rest of us!”

“Actually, somepony alread-”

“Girls!” yelled Twilight from another room.

“Rainbow Crash broke something again!” Applejack called back. Huh? Mean? No, even she calls herself that. It's the only name she's ever given us.

“I'm sorry...”

“No, not that! Come here!”




“'Evil Princesses Turn Over a New Leaf?!'” Applejack asked, looking at the headline. There was a big picture of Luna back to looking like she used to and Celestia...She looked actually looked nice...And for some reason like she was from Ponygypt.

We were ALL just sitting there staring at it. Celestia had been there since before we were born. I've been watching her rampages on TV safe at home since I was a foal while she'd been destroying everything she could. Why do you think I have to jump through hoops to get veggies?! You think I like dealing with the black market to eat healthy?! That's only slightly less healthy than not eating right!

Now...it was over? Just like that? That quick?

“How?! What happened?!” Rarity asked, not seeming to care that much that she hadn't put on her make up that likely contains a lot of stuff that's bad for you. She apparently had time to put on a tacky Hearth's Warming's sweater though.

Twilight looked down at the paper. “It says they were both purified of evil when-oh! Look, the price of milk went down!”

“Twilight, focus!” Applejack ordered.

“Sorry! Just it's been awhile since I had milk!”

She had a point, a cup of milk contains 30 percent of your daily calcium requirements and is a great source of Vitamin D.

“It says they were purified of evil when some objects from another universe called 'the Elements of Harmony' were used by King Sombra to pull all the evil out of them...and into himself.”

“Wait wait wait, so now King Sombra's the BAD GUY?!” Applejack asked, basically looking as horrified as we were all thinking. Ugh...blind terror gets your heart rate up, that's not good for your health!

“...No, according to this, King Sombra had the will power to force himself away from civilization...the Princesses are good guys now, and they helped King Tirek and the other heroes imprison Lord Scorpan back in Tartarus. Captain Goodguy, Duchess Chrysalis, Princess Trixie, and Starlight Glimmer are all returning home as well now that they don't need to keep watch all over the whole kingdom all the time.”

We were all speechless for a few moments. Half the country probably is right now.

“...I...I do declare I'm speechless...” Applejack muttered.

“Yay! The evil Princesses are gone!” Rainbow Dash cheered.

“They're probably trying to trick us all,” Fluttershy said, rolling her eyes.

Our walking disaster area blinked. “Oh...sorry...”

“I'm with Fluttershy,” I chimed in. “This seems fishy. It's too happy! And happy things are suspicious!”

“It says here that King Tirek is sending his Centaurs to begin restoring the damage they caused. He's also attending a ceremonial party happening today to celebrate the end of this whole mess and to explain the restoration efforts,” Twilight read, then smiled wide. “Oh! If Lord Tirek is there, maybe I can go impress him with my knowledge of science!”

“Twilight, focus!” Applejack of all ponies called. “...They're really restorin' Equestria?”

“Oh! Yeah, they're going to use some mana transfer spell to transfer some mana from their kingdom back into ours to heal it, and their Cloud Gremlins are helping rebuild the pegasi cities while the pegasi are producing smaller storms to rehydrate the soil now that Celestia won't just evaporate them.”

“Oh! So that's why the weather team wanted all the help they could get making a storm earlier!” Rainbow Crash shouted.

“...It also says there was a small delay due to some kind of out of control storm...”

“Oops...Sorry...” said Rainbow, pinning her ears. “...I just don't know what went wrong...”

We all gave a groan. “Again?” Rarity asked.

“So...are apples finally gonna taste right again?” Applejack interrupted. She looked at a picture on our mantle of some brown stallion she'd never tell us who he was or why she had a picture of him.

“Uh, looks like it. They say everything should start recovering back to at least how it was when Celestia was alone.”

Applejack smirked. “Great!...Uh, well Ah'll just wait for them new sweet apples tah come in and steal a boatload! That'll get ponies talking!”

“I don't trust it...” I replied, glaring at the paper. “I LIKED them taking the sweet out of things, that mades things more trustworthy.”

“Hey, it says here they actually got enough sugar for a cake,” Rainbow read. “I wish I could try some, I haven't had any in forever.”

What?!

They all nodded. No! Don't they see it?!

“No way!” I yelled, glaring at the picture. This was too far! “Pretending to be good guys is one thing. Throwing a suspiciously fun party is another, but bringing CAKE into things? The one good thing they ever did was wipe out most of the sugar supplies!”

“Hey, why is there a picture of us fighting the Princesses here?” asked Rainbow, looking at the paper, but I ignored her. This was too important!

“Uh...Pinkamena,” said Fluttershy. “Assuming there is a problem with cake. How exactly do you intend to do that?”

“I'm going to go to the party and talk to them...and hand out pamphlets on the evils of cake.”

Fluttershy said something about them killing me if they really were lying, but I didn't listen. After all, how could anyone not see how obvious it was that cake was a bad idea? One serving of cake contains a full day's worth of trans fat! And you're better off not even having any trans fat at all in your diet!

I got my pamphlets out of storage and Twilight told me she'd stop by the party later after getting some notes together (which given this was Twilight, would probably cause her to get side tracked by some random thing and take twice as long as she should). Rainbow said she had a friend stopping by. I didn't ask, normally 'friend stopping by' for Rainbow was 'somepony who's using her' and I usually let Applejack handle them. Well either that or Gilda stopping by to try and convince Rainbow we were bad news.

I headed out the door and...Huh?

A purple unicorn (well more of a light heliotrope I think) with a purple and aquamarine mane was standing there...a purple star with a white one under it and two blue wisps for a Cutie Mark? Wait a second...

“You're Starlight Glimmer!”

She nodded and said something about being here to see...Rainbow? I wasn't really listening. Starlight Glimmer is the one pony who might actually understand why I'm so dedicated to healthy habits! After all, she might be a great teacher, but she doesn't pull her punches! She can be harsh if needed! Just like me! And isn't being healthy part of reaching your true potential?

So I explained everything I intend to do, she knows Captain Good Guy, Princess Trixie, and the others! She could put a word in for me!

“So, as you see, the number of calories, artificial flavors, and trans-fat in cake simply is not healthy for anypony and cake is a horrible thing no pony should ever eat! So, what do you think?”

Starlight rubbed her chin and looked me over. Her eyes felt on my Cutie Mark and she did some weird spell that made her eyes glow. “Hmm...you have a talent for getting others to listen, don't you? To influence others opinions?”

I nodded. Huh? Parties?! Ugh, don't make me sick. Why would my talent be something as worthless and fun as a party?!

“I see. Well, you've got a good knowledge base, you clearly do your research instead of pulling 'facts' out of your flanks, and you have the right amount of energy to be charismatic, but not annoying in and of itself, and you know how to focus it towards getting your point across, all of which are good.”

“Thank you!”

“But you're overly bias to the point of refusing to acknowledge the pros of the thing you are arguing against, some of your knowledge is outdated, and you clearly have a difficult time comprehending the concept of moderation.”

“Tha-wait what?!”

Moderation?! She's joking! This must be a test of how resolute I am!

Starlight teleported and popped back with a big book. “Here, take this book, it's from Miss Ditzy the Wise's library, far more comprehensive than anything you'll find elsewhere. She wrote it herself, so you know it is high quality. I recommend reading it cover to cover so you can better support your points. I also suggest you pay special attention to the pages telling about the benefits of certain 'unhealthy' substances in moderation. You're correct that they can cause health problems and much of what you said isn't factually wrong, but a more balanced view will greatly increase the likelihood others will take your advice, seeing something only demonized is a turn off for most.”

“Ugh...” I muttered. “I thought you were supposed to be smart! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! How can something as unhealthy as a cake possibly be GOOD for you?”

“I didn't say it was good for you, I simply said that you need to take a more balanced approach to sharing your message. You're not wrong to suggest perhaps a healthier alternative or a smaller cake might be a better idea, but the way you say it, it sounds like you want anypony who thinks it's a good idea to be put in some re-education hut and told your perspective over and over again until they're indoctrinated.”

“I tried that already.”

Huh? Why is she staring at me like that? I was just trying to keep ponies from getting themselves hurt!

“...Pinkamena?”

“Yes?”

“...Have you actually TRIED doing that to anypony?”

“No, couldn't afford the building.”

She gave a sigh for some reason. “Good...If you did that, you'd cause ponies psychological pain and undue stress, which would be unhealthy. Stress is unhealthy. And you don't want that, right?”

“...Huh, good point, stress is pretty bad.”

I hadn't thought of that...I wonder if you can get re-education chambers with stress balls provided...

Anyway, Starlight told me she had to go, and so did I...also for some reason she suggested I go talk to Miss Ditzy and mentioned her having a special couch I could lay on and discuss mental health.

Now, onto my plans. The party will be at King Sombra's royal castle. No, it's not the Princesses' castle, they haven't earned that. So I need to get there early and start handing out pamphlets. Huh? Why do I have pre-made pamphlets? I keep them all over the club house in case of pamphlet emergencies...in alphabetical order. The dangers of cake pamphlets are in the cabinet.




Okay, the guards are back...well standing guard. I can't remember the last time they weren't busy keeping a closer eye out for the evil Princesses than your average crooks. I'll need a disguise...

I put on a trench-coat and hat and put a little more energy in my step than normal. It's open invite, so no problem at all there, just need to hide it's me. Yes, I have a fake ID premade, it's kind of a necessity while dealing with the black market.

Okay, get in line...Ugh, I can hear the loud music already! Don't ponies realize that stuff damages your ears?! The average rock concert ranks in from 110 decibels to 120 decibels, and it only takes 80 decibels to damage your ears! Not to mention it keeps people up at night no matter how much they want to sleep! Good thing I brought some light music...Huh? I like classical music and new wave music. It's good for meditation.

Princess Trixie is the one shaking hooves at the door, like she always did when a big event like this is going on before she dropped off the radar (Rarity sometimes crashes them wearing the most garish thing she can get her hooves on and I sometimes tried to ruin them). Glad that routine was back...routines are healthy and safe. She'll be out here all night, so she won't be eating any cake. Good.

“Hello, You Majesty, you are look quite healthy today, have you been working out?” I asked. I meant it too, she looked a lot more toned than before she disappeared.

She blushed until she looked like me (she is Princess of Humility) and nodded. “T-Thank you, and yes...I was training with Starlight Glimmer in Our Town while I was gone. She said I wasn't living up to my full potential by focusing so much on Unicorn magic and I needed to practice with my other two magics if I wanted to stand up to Celestia and Luna.”

No, she didn't seem upset with Starlight. She didn't seem upset at all really. Though she was a bit hard to hear over the music. It was too loud and she was too quiet. Good thing I came when I did, she might damage her hearing listening to it all night.

“Well at least you're healthier now regardless, here, have some hoof sanitizer that kills ninety-nine point nine nine percent of bad bacteria, you're going to need it.”

She looked at the sanitizer I squirted on her hooves. “Uh...thank you...That was nice of you...”

“You're welcome!”

I also gave her a pamphlet and the whole bottle of hoof sanitizer before going in.

Ugh...There's way too much fun happening here, these ponies should thank me for coming, it's only a matter of time before somepony gets hurt! This can't be safe!

Okay, time to start handing out pamphlets! Good thing I brought enough! I gave the first two to the big goods in the room, they were the ones with pull. Now onto all the guests.

One for you, one for you, ugh! No that's not a napkin! Never put something you don't know where it's been near your mouth!

“Pinkie?”

I froze...only one pony in the entire world calls me that.

I turned and there was my deadbeat sister Maud Pie. “...I don't know who you're talking about, I've never heard that name before in my life.”

Maud put a hoof over my shoulder. “Come on, Pinkie, I saw Modern Ninjas Hoof Clan with you when we were foals, I know the trench-coat and fedora trick too.”

I gave a growl. “The only thing I liked about that movie was that it showed the dangers of chemicals!” And even then, it was so medically inaccurate! I mean chemicals make most things die, not become bipedal evil ninjas!

“So you admit you saw it,” Maud said, giving me a smirk. “So why are you here? Finally decide to actually have some fun and lighten up before you give yourself a heart attack?”

...And thus fun proves how dangerous it is, trying to have it with my sister once exposes me now...

I snarled and snorted hot air. “I'm just...here! What are YOU doing here anyway?!”

“Oh, me and the band are here to rock this place!” she explained, doing that stupid 'air guitar' thing she liked to do. Wonder she doesn't strain herself. “Sir Discord said these high class events tend to get dull, and needed a little bit of good cheer to liven things up!”

Why is it when Rarity crashes a party in a puke green sweater, it makes ponies mad at her, but my sister gets away with showing up in a dirty old white t shirt? Because she's 'fun?' Because she 'livens things up?' Well I LIKE dull parties! They're safe!

I rolled my eyes. “Shouldn't you be getting a real job now that the world doesn't 'need cheering up' anymore?”

“Pinkie, this IS my real job. Making ponies happy, what's wrong with that?”

“Stop calling me Pinkie! It's Pinkamena!”

“You used to love being called Pinkie-”

“No, you just think I did!”

Her ears went back. “...Pink-...Pinkamena-”

“Whatever, enjoy wasting your time and everypony elses'...”

I storm off...wait...

“And have a pamphlet!”

Okay, now I can storm off...ugh, great, now I need to duck into a bathroom and switch outfits! Everypony is looking at me! Excuse me! Pardon me! Yes, Miss Smith, I've seen AJ recently, but she doesn't want to talk to you!

Ugh...So my sister is still chasing dreams and wasting her time. I was hoping she'd have given that up when Princess Luna went bad and things got worse, but no! She 'had' to spread good cheer to everypony because 'it was more important than ever.' And she thinks I'm the one who's not doing things the right way?!

Okay, let's see. Old grandma look, no one ever suspects a grandma. Maybe that's why Duchess Chrysalis looks like one?

Why am I so well prepared? Because I'm not a lazy pony like Applejack. If anything I have the opposite problem. I have a lot of energy, like Starlight said, but if I wasn't not doing something with it, I'd be bouncing off the walls...Literally, it's humiliating and unsafe. So you could say I've got a lot of practice focusing my energy on things, and plenty of energy to focus getting ready for these things...I wonder if having this much energy is dangerous, I really need to see a doctor about it some time.

The ironic thing is if Applejack would just work with me more often, we'd make a good team. Like the time we ruined the Apple Family Reunion...even if King Sombra thanked us for 'livening things up' and Applejack threw a tantrum. At least we sent a lot of ponies safely home early.

Okay, just need to throw this out outfit away and...wait...why are my pamphlets in the trash? They're just throwing them away?!

...I tried to be nice, but I guess they won't listen to reason. Looks like I'll just need to do this the hard way. Good thing I came prepared for that too.

Let's see...

I sneak back in, Celestia is making some kind of speech, I don't know, this is more important. Okay, to start, let's turn this music to something a little bit less hard on the hearing. Better put in earplugs just to be on the safe side. Some nice classical music should help. And turn down the volume of course, it's a wonder anypony can even hear anymore! Better unplug my sister's stupid amps while I'm at it...

Why not start with the cake? Because I need to get everypony distracted before I can actually do anything with it! I'm not Applejack, I don't want to get arrested! If I did, I couldn't continue to ensure everypony's health and well being! Besides prison food is TERRIBLE for you and they're about the most unsafe place on the planet!...Though they do have nice work out areas.

That said, I can exchange most of the cookies and other junk food for veggies while no one was looking. Ugh...what am I going to do with this stuff? Maybe it'd be good fuel for the furnace back home, it's not good for anything else.

Ugh! Come on, Al. E Zotl! Lower your tail....hand...thing so I can snatch those potato chips! Got 'em! Good thing he was talking to that somepony about his Bravery Blue books or he might have noticed me.

“Thank you and the others so much for lending me your power to defeat my brother, Captain Goodguy. I don't know how I would have defeated him otherwise with how much magic he'd absorbed.”

“Oh, King Tirek, it was a small price to pay to restore peace and harmony to the world. Though I must say, it was also interesting to witness a giant Centaur and Gargoyle duking it out like something out of a King Dracodora film.”

“I suppose it was, though it saddens me I had to condemn my brother to still more years in that pit...excuse me miss?”

I looked up at King Tirek as I was about half way through of snatching the bowl of fries right of his hand.

The King of the Centaurs looked over at the refreshments, then gave a smile and laugh. “Oh, I see, you wanted some but it appears they're all gone! Here, take mine!”

I took it. Guess this is why his nickname is 'King Tirek the Selfless.' “Um...thank you your majesty...have a carrot.”

Thankfully, snatching a lot of their nasty treats and replacing them with nice healthy ones was much easier than stealing from Tirek. Huh? I don't care if this upsets ponies! Health is more important than being 'happy!' You can't be around to be happy if you're not healthy!

Ugh, of course that means a lot of ponies are throwing my healthy stuff away to look for the more 'fun' stuff. But they won't find any! I have all of it but the cake in this bag and my pockets where everypony is safe from it!

“Alright, everypony!” my sister shouted on stage, standing on her big pet rock Pebble (who still had that stupid grin she'd drew on his face). “I hope you're ready to rock!”

Who's her band? Why should I care? Ugh...fine!

Maud is the lead guitarist and vocalist, Octavia Melody is drums, Beauty Brass is the bass guitar, Franz Horseshoepin is on the keyboard, and Harpo is on the tambourine. I think Brass used to play...well, brass but decided to change it up and be unexpected. What would be unexpected is for them to actually get a REAL job instead of wasting all their time and everypony else's on ear damaging 'fun.' Hmm...still perhaps I could use them as a distraction to get rid of that awful cake...

How am I going to? It's right next to the window, so I'm just going to open it and push it right out! Just need to sneak over there and get ready while everypony is focused on my deadbeat sister...

Maud tried to strum a few cords but I had unplugged the amps and turned down the volume already. Good, I'm right in front of one of the speakers right now it'd be dangerous if-

“Hey! Somepony mind plugging us in and cranking it up?!” I heard Octavia yell.

Uh oh...

Maud took in a deep breath. “Alright, everypony, let's rock and roll! I wanna see some smiles!”

GAH! Ow ow ow...What?! Speak louder, I can't hear you! The guards are what?

Oh, the Guards see me...and I dropped my bags and they spilled out...HORSEAPPLES! Good thing I'm in good shape!




Okay....I...I got away...but I dropped my bag and had to throw my disguise off while I ran...See what I said about fun?! Nothing good EVER comes from fun! Ever! It's only ever made my life Tartarus just like this!

That's it! I just wanted to make this party healthier, make is safer, but no one wants that! And my stupid sister will only be encouraged to keep this up if this is allowed to stand!...So it looks like this party is over...

Huh? Why am I even doing this?! I've told you a million times! To make sure everypony is healthy and safe! Why do I want THAT so badly?...Hmph...I guess I can tell you while I get set up here. Maybe then you'll see just why this is so important!




When I was a little filly, me and my family grew up on a simple rock farm in the middle of nowhere. There was no talking. There was no smiling. There were only rocks. And it was wonderful! It was safe! The most danger we ever had to deal with was blasting rocks, and we had rules and procedures for that! You know the advantage of being on a 'boring' rock farm in the middle of nowhere? Celestia didn't care about us at all! We didn't even have to worry about her because we didn't matter to her! Seeing whatever terrible thing Celestia had done on the TV didn't matter because it was happening somewhere else! We were healthy, we were fit, and we were fine! My Granny Pie thought it was best to stay that way, to stick to tradition and do things just right, and that making things fun was just a waste of daylight, so that's how things were done...But you see not everything was right in paradise.

My parents were always trying to get whatever new high tech gadget came out whenever they could and tried to change my Granny Pie's 'outdated' rules to something more 'fun.' Maud was always all for it and so were my other sisters, and at the time so was I. But Granny Pie always taught me to apply all my excess energy towards hammering and moving the rocks, saying 'idle hooves are Celestia' playthings', so that's just what I did. I liked the breaks, but I was always more of a doer than a player. My sister's always been the opposite. We should have realized something was wrong with Maud all the way back then.

I'd tell you more about my foalhood, but for most of it that's all there was and all we needed: rocks, rocks, and more rocks. It was routine, and I liked it that way. I felt safe that way! I didn't care what was happening everywhere else, all that mattered was in our own little world things were good! Cowardly? I was a foal what do you expect?

But then one day...One fateful day, I realized how true what my Granny Pie said about fun was.

If you asked me their names, I couldn't tell you. I was young, they didn't stay long. They were a group of rockers, like Maud is now. They found their way to our little piece of safety thinking 'rock farm' meant we were a farm for rockers (I should have taken that as a warning sign!). Naturally, they thought our humble way of doing things was 'dull' and 'boring' and decided to 'show us some fun.'

We thought it would be 'fun.' My sisters thought it'd be a good break from working every day. My parents did too. The rockers even let us empty the fridge on their tour bus for the catering and every other thing they could get. And for three days, the party never ended. And their rock and roll never stopped. The sweets and junk food? I couldn't control myself and gorged myself on every last bit my hooves touched. I'd never had it before, so tasting that temptation was something I had no defense against, that I wasn't prepared for. So I ate so much I could hardly move. Oh, you think it sounds like fun? Hehe...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

By the end of it I was so sick I was bed-ridden for an entire week. We'd got nothing done, and we'd lost even more time than the bucking party took. And that loud music that never quit?! I hardly got any sleep at all, and was so tired I slept in till noon the next day! I went three days without one good night's sleep because of that noise, noise, noise, noise, what else could come from that?! It felt like 'fun' while it was happening, but in the end not one good thing came from it! Oh, but that's not even the worst part! The worst part was Maud.

Maud got her cutie mark that week. She'd decided the thing she wanted more than anything was to be like that band because they'd made her so happy, she wanted to make others feel the same. They even left her a guitar. A guitar that I'd never hear the end of! She practiced all of the time. Every moment of her free time, that noise, noise, noise rang in my ears! I can't even remember how many hours of sleep she cost me! And our parents bucking supported her! They supported her wasting her time on something that worthless as much as they supported me doing something meaningful and working on the farm like we should have been! Thanks to that stupid band the one place in the world I felt safe was too loud for me to even think and a constant reminder of the worst week of my life!...And now everypony else is worshiping Maud for doing the same things, lured into the same trap of 'fun' as we were.

Oh, and I once tried being fun myself you know. I was convinced to give it another chance. You know what happened? I gave my sister walnut brownies and it turned out she was allergic!

Never once in my life have I ever had 'fun' that didn't turn out to be misery in disguise! Even after my sister moved out to 'follow her dream,' her concerts on the radio, her albums, and her CDs took her place! All that noise, noise, noise, noise! It never stopped! I couldn't stand it anymore! So one day I up and left, found Twilight, and never looked back! And I'll never look back until not one little filly falls into that same trap ever again!

But I do thank those rockers and my sister for teaching me one thing: that nothing good comes from 'fun.' Nothing good ever comes from 'sweet.' Nothing good ever comes from 'indulgence.' It's all lies! If 'fun' is living, I don't need to live! I just need to SURVIVE! Because surviving is SIMPLE! It's SAFE! Why can't anypony but me see that?! Why doesn't anypony but me want to be safe?!

...Huh?...Is that why I hang out with the others? I want to feel safe?...Maybe...They're always constant, always the same. Never changing. Applejack will always have some crazy scheme, Twilight will always try to be popular, Rainbow Crash always screws up, Fluttershy always has some biting remark, and Rarity some gaudy new style...Predictable...and predictable is safe...




When you run a farm, you're always prepared for pests...and sometimes those pests are useful. One in particular is known to eat any bite of food it gets its greedy little jaws on. It's the only thing on this planet that's safe to feed anything to, trust me. And once it starts, it will ruin this party. Then all these ponies get to go home and be safe at home in bed. I just need to let it get out of control.

But this little pest happens to have an ear for music. It's the only thing that can tame one. So of course, I need to do something about that! I disguised myself again, this time just as a simple maid (I found an outfit in the closet I hid in) and used the fact the guards are looking for me to my advantage: they left the place I really need to get to more vulnerable than they should have. I knock out the breaker for the room.

While everything is dark and everycreature is in a tizzy over it, I let my little pet loose. Go on little Parasprite, eat up all that nasty food and start spreading like wildfire! The Princesses and the other heroes are too busy trying to keep everypony calm to even notice! By the time the power is back on, they'll have to call the party off there will be so many! Party ruined, sorry guys! No dangerous fun here! Get home where it's safe!

One becomes two, two becomes three! And they haven't even started on the main course yet! Buy buy nasty cake! I hope no pony ever makes another of you again!

“Hey! Everypony!”

My sister again, what is she up to-

“I know you're a little freaked out right now, but listen to this!”

Where did she get an acoustic guitar?! She's...she's playing this song our parents taught us when we were foals when we got scared...but...

No! Stop!

...The light comes back on, and my sister didn't even realize my Parasprites had flocked to her music in the dark. Once the light is on, she just carries on, keeping them hypnotized while Duchess Chrysalis uses some spell of hers to change their focus and lead them off. I don't think most of the ponies even realized they weren't part of the show! They didn't even get the one thing I wanted them to destroy!

UGH! Why do you always ruin everything, Maud?!

Of course the guards are onto me heavy this time, and they know how persistent I can be now! They're blocking all the exits! Come on come one! Backstage! Looks like the guards aren't back there yet!

“...Goin' somewhere Pinkamena?”

...Of course...

I turned around to see my sister. She wasn't smiling. Neither was I “...Why do you have to ruin everything?!”

She...looks hurt. “...I don't try to...”

She trots over and puts my own pamphlet down on the table next to me. She...she kept it?

“...I just worry about you...you're my sister, that's my JOB...And you spend all your time hanging out with five crooks and so high strung it's a wonder you don't have a heart attack. Then you go pulling stunts like that one back there...Somepony could have been-”

“They're not crooks! They're my friends! At least they actually let me sleep instead of blowing my eardrums out every night!”

Maud took a step back. “...Wait, what?! I didn't...how was I supposed to know that?”

I blinked. “Because...well...because...Because it's common sense!”

Maud looked down at her hooves. “...Look sis...maybe I did some things you don't get, and maybe I do you wrong sometimes without knowing it...but I never ignored you...you just never tried to tell me that.”

“I shouldn't have needed to! It should've been common sense!”

“...I'm all for beating to your own drum, but you like your drum to drown out everypony else's, sis...If I hurt you, I'm sorry...I never meant to...I just...sometimes have trouble realizing I'm saying the wrong thing, and need to be told to my face...But all I ever wanted was to make you happy.”

I...She looks like she's going to...No! Not falling for crocodile tears!

“SHUT UP! You have no idea what makes me happy!”

“...Do you want to be?”

“No! That's exactly the problem! I don't want to be happy! I want to be healthy! I want to survive! I just want to be SAFE!”

We both stood there staring at each other until we heard the guard's hooves and I bolt out the door, no pony chasing me. I hear Maud say something to the guards but none come through the door after me.

...I need to head home...I...I need to meditate...let's just hope no pony is playing anything too loud....I've had enough 'fun' for one night. Maybe I'll read Starlight's book...
Commission: Planning a Party
The Reflections Arc in IDW took place in a Mirror World were everypony's personality traits are reversed. But we only touched the surface of everything that it had to offer.

Pinkamena Diane Pie is a healthy pony. Healthy is good, healthy is safe. Healthy is how everything should be...and she's convinced she's the only pony who knows that, and everypony else is too addicted to fun to understand.

The second of a series of commissions by :icongrimwolf001: ! His description for Pinkamena was that she's basically like Minuette's depicted: obsessed with an aspect of health, only taken up to eleven. So I kind of went the route of 'a must less dangerous and far more insane Starlight Glimmer only with fun and junk food instead of Cutie Marks'. Hope it turned out well!

Please note: this is intended to have a bit of depth to it. Try to read into things more than what's on the surface, and is intended to have a bit of tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php… to it, so please pay attention, some things spoken of here will come into play in other character's stories.

Applejack's Story: fav.me/d8kbl58

My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro!

Idea by :icongrimwolf001: !

Preview Pic thanks to :iconandrewtodaro:
Loading...
  • Mood: Joy
Is it wrong I imagine that Applebloom's fears were subconsciously inspired by stories of Starlight Glimmer she heard from the others?

it makes sense that Applebloom would have some anxieties, but right after having a big bad BASED around a lot of these problems. 

Also, I imagine in this case, Diamond and Silver were what Applebloom FEARS they'd react.

So in THIS case there appearances amounting to being one d bullies makes sense, considering it's Applebloom's NIGHTMARE.
  • Mood: Rage
ponies-on-paper.tumblr.com/pos…

So apparently that whole thing with Paypal?

It was a misunderstanding stemming from the guy in the video reading the worst in something and having no idea what he was actually talking about (Atomic Chinchilla wasn't at fault, the guy in the original video was).

I am sorry Paypal, but this is why your policies should be in plain simple english and not legalese. 

I'm sorry for spreading some panic, I was paniced, I was scared. 

And this is why I hate fear mongers.

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Kendell2
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Happy b-day~! 8D
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